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Tuesday, 23 January 2018

Self talk | Image and mind.

While I sit here sipping my tea, my mind wonder's about many girls I have spoken to or heard from recently via social media that have faced some sort of negative self thoughts and I ask myself, what can we really do to change this? I recently read a article about "How to avoid negative self talk" when in certain situations in your daily life and it has inspired me to write about it - particularly take on  the ''mind'' and ''image'' for my first post back. I am a big believer the way you talk to yourself, describe yourself and think about yourself can either make you or break you mentally as a person. In this post I will be talking about self image and mental social battles that sometimes can be overlooked so easily especially when you're the one doing it to yourself.
In general the society we live in does not make this easy for us! Especially the "selfie century" as we call media playing a huge part I believe, the time is here where now we don't only look at people on TV, magazines or do you remember back when we would tear out those posters from the likes of Sugar magazine and put them up in our room or glue them in our notebook? - and say like ''wow I want to do my hair like that''..or ''She's really pretty'' then usually as a teen just go out and have actual human interaction and most of the time not even remember the perfected poster? Or the adults in our life mostly read magazines and usually saw these images again just on TV and a lot of the time you liked them for what they did - the music, film so there was more than image to talk about...

Now on the other hand forwarding years..We look at the likes of me and you, peer groups, normal everyday people, reality or what we make it..constantly re-forming ourselves to be more perfect alongside with perfected Instagram squares full of totally high spec glossy photos and well it can be really daunting on people and I totally understand why, because these images come at you by the truck load there are 10000's of users on social media sites trying to achieve some sort of level of make believe perfection that they have seen online and there are a lot of people chasing this in the wrong way, forgetting the bigger picture or even how to enjoy the moment. The thing is it's not just a poster on your wall anymore, it's there in your hand for the duration or the time you're awake or login into your apps - you cannot get away from it. You can be inspired be people, say someone is really fit and you want to gain fitness,..or someone was able to grow their hair and you have been wanting to for a while, so go ahead - use the tips..I mean personally that's why I am on social media in the first place to share things /  tips / views and to get something shared in return - but you should never really aspire to be like anyone else or absolutely not put yourself down at the cost of just images that you see, this is really important. Finding yourself through self talk is key - it may be easier said than done so here are a few tips: Tell yourself you're ok and that you can do anything that you want, find your positives and allow yourself to enjoy them (you're allowed), Ask yourself the core problem, what is really effecting you? Now find it....just keep looking, got it? - and now and try and fix it it an ongoing process? or is it something you can change right away.., Remind yourself there is much more to life and that everybody is born with beautiful features and mind including you and it's the way you present yourself, express yourself and carry yourself that makes you who you are. You own those feelings, its your body, your own life..and some self love will do a world of good for you. Making yourself happy and learning to love yourself without feeling like you need to change yourself to fit into what your spending your time viewing.  

Remind yourself that actually truly wanting something or wanting to change something about yourself in any aspect - or well, just doing it because you have seen it are worlds apart and you have to learn to differentiate the two feelings. 

Instead of focusing your energy on any negative thoughts about yourself that may have developed or are occurring, just try to build yourself with strength mentally first to stop this ongoing process. After you feel you are more content think personally about the things you want to maintain about yourself and because you want it - for you. 
Have you ever been in a situation where you're at an event and your friend or someone else just says ''I feel like crap right now'' or ''I don't want to be here, I don't look good'' ''my dress is not right my hairs a mess''..but eventually they end up having such a good time they totally forget about it? Well yes, thats how you need to live each day of you life, of course we have our not so great days, we wouldn't be human otherwise, but just remind yourself each time that this life party of yours is going ahead and still going on and you need to do your thing. Get on with your days and make the most of what you're doing and who you want to spend your time with, learn to look after yourself, to be healthy not perfect. 
Teach yourself that every feature is not only more attractive but increased in self and in the eye's of other's worth with the confidence you build up and allow yourself to be. You have to love yourself for you first before you can teach others to love you for you. Lastly do what you really love to do, things that interest you for the right reasons, take long walks, compliment yourself and learn to accept them from others, have true fun and it's ok to put your feet up and sing silly songs and laugh just because you want to. We are not mad we are living - and that's what you call true self love.

Yasmin x

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